Thursday 16 September 2010

Completions, continuations and new beginnings!

I finally completed my Astrology for Tarot readers email correspondence course the other week. I had been slowly trawling through that thing for months. Reading the lessons sent to me and then completing the various quizzes to test my knowledge. I have all the information printed off now and neatly put together into a folder. It was the completion of this course, coupled with the fact that my job has not had much work for me lately, that I set up an account on keen.com as a Tarot reader. I have been studying and reading Tarot for about 12 years, but have only read professionally on a handful of occasions and really need to build up my confidence and experience.

Since setting up the account, however, I have not actually done any readings. I have begun another project, and this one I have really thrown myself into with gusto. I am writing a book. I have finally bitten the bullet and put pen to paper. I'm enjoying it! I know it's going to take time and lots of hard work and effort. But this is something I am passionate about.

Persistence, motivation, endurance, patience and perseverance, are all qualities I feel I am learning about this year. My long term weight loss journey that I first embarked upon in January of this year continues, and yes, the weight is still coming off, slowly but surely. My goal of learning to drive also continues. I have been taking driving lessons now for over a year and I finally have a test booked for next month. Magickal goals I will be working towards are also beginning to take root.

It is an exciting time.

Sunday 12 September 2010

Outdoor Workings



So, last night was spent in the woods down by the river in a spot local to a lovely magickal friend of mine, a Priestess of Hekate. It has been a long time since I worked outdoors, and I plan to do more outdoor work when I can. Rituals in the woods under the stars hold their own special kind of magick.

The rite was simple enough, but I already feel that I have learned a fair few things. We stood by the riverside opposite a roaring waterfall and called out to the land spirits, the guardian spirits of place. Offerings were laid down for them with some polite words and requests for protection from prying eyes (we had already experienced a mildly disconcerting encounter with a park warden about half an hour before beginning) the offerings are also regarded as a mark of respect to the land spirits, it's more a case of "Please, accept this drink and food we are giving to you, now please keep your distance!" We explain that we were not going to take anything from them and that we would leave the site untouched (we actually did some litter picking when clearing a ritual space) My friend has had a lot of dealings with various nature spirits and land wights and it felt good to be with someone who had some understanding of their ways. A lot of them appreciate alcohol, so a bottle of brandy was poured out for them.

Once the spirits had been acknowledged, I cast a circle and then we took turns in calling out to Hekate for communion with Her. We sat in silence for a good while after the invocations. Each of us had special requests and internal work that we wanted to do.

I feel I am definitely noticing a very specific energy every time I call on Hekate. It's the same feeling I get in my temple at home before the shrine. It's a heady sensation, I feel mildly out of control, like i'm going under, it's not the most pleasant of experiences (and yet, yes, I keep coming back for more!) the feeling is almost identical to my experiences with mild possession from my Vodou days. The sound of the waterfall almost became deafening and traces of strange sounds could be detected from beyond.

I was aware of Hekate moving, almost swaying around the circle and across the waters. She was TALL! After I had said what I wanted to say, and experienced inner visions, flashes of imagery as usual, I began to focus more on the mild trance state that I was in and the uncomfortable sensations. I worried about the incense we were burning, a blend specifically put together for Hekate, because I knew that it contained aconite.

I had spoken with various herbal wise friends of mine about aconite, expressing my concerns, since I know that it is poisonous. I even spoke online to the woman that creates and sells these concoctions. I was met by these various people with different responses. Some said that it would be fine to burn outdoors and that, as it was in a certain amount, and was only the aconite petals, it should be fine. Others, told me they personally would not use it. Aconite can stop the heart beating. I had resolved to use it because we were using it outdoors and I would not be sitting close to it so it should be fine, and the aconite content is pretty low, as far as I can gather! I worried though. I felt a mild panic attack coming on, and I hadn't had one of those in over a year.

I focused on my breathing and after a few moments a few clouds came across the sky, reflecting light pollution from the local town so it wasn't as dark as it had been. I looked up the sky and felt a sense of relief and the uncomfortable sensation left me as rapidly as it had come.

"She's gone" my friend looked at me and said. This made sense. The ambience didn't feel anywhere near as heavy.

After taking some time to re-adjust, we then began to eat and drink wine (pouring out wine for Her Ladyship beforehand) For a good couple of hours both of us felt that we were being watched and it was slightly uncomfortable. It was the spirits of place. My friend has a special word she uses to describe that uncomfortable sensation - grobbly! It's perfect. We both had the grobblies for a short period, but as our night vigil progressed and we became merry and exchanged much conversation, I feel I truly learned the power of laughter. You can banish with laughter. Many magicians will tell you this. Sometimes, standing up to threatening spirits, rather than cowering and running away, is the best policy. My friend illustrated this concept for me with an analogy. If a lion is behind you, you keep walking on calmly and the lion won't think that you are prey. You run, and you are much more likely to be dinner, because you acted like dinner.

Another factor to take into account is urinating! When working a site, if you have, at some point, urinated somewhere in that place, you have left your mark, just like an animal marks its territory. A part of you has become one with the landscape, and we both noticed how much more at home we felt once we had both urinated in a bush a few metres away from the circle (after cutting doorways)

We sat under the stars drinking red wine and hung around for about eight hours. Upon leaving the site, I left my offerings to Hekate - garlic cloves and raw eggs, all natural and biodegradable. We set off (making sure not to turn back!) and headed home. On the way, at a three way crossroads, a gentleman (who sounded very Greek. Yes) in a tweed suit on a bicycle, asked us the way to Stockport (the nearby town) We told him it was straight down the road he was already traversing and watched bemusedly as he swayed all over the place on his bike. We were tipsy ourselves by this point and found it funny, but to be fair, it really isn't safe to cycle when drunk! He wasn't wearing a helmet either.

We have wondered if he was Hermes. Hermes has a strong connection with Hekate (as does Dionysos) he rules travel and communication and the crossroads are also sacred to him.

All in all, a pretty magickal evening!

Wednesday 1 September 2010

Fresh update, Fresh layout.

How the hell did it get to September? I suppose I have been preoccupied. August this year has been very eventful. I don't know where to start, because it has been so long since my last post. It's probably best to begin with the Goddess Hekate.



I think it is fair to say that I have been well and truly bitten by the Hekate bug. She has been a popular Goddess for many involved in the various magickal traditions, but a particularly strong current seems to be sweeping the occult world at the moment and I think it is fair to say that I have been well and truly caught up in it.

It began with certain books I have been reading for the last couple of years. It developed into dark dreams, hypnagogic "hallucinations" (audible, and more amazingly for me, visually on some occasions) It led to signs and symbols EVERYWHERE until eventually I just HAD to make contact. I tried last year with a permanent shrine and a regular devotional practice. Events unfolded but seemed to stop dead in their tracks and lead me nowhere, feeling lost and confused at Her crossroads. Hekate is all about the in between and the liminal. She rules boundaries and crossroads (especially three way crossroads)

Feeling confused and slightly pissed off with the constant dark dreams and hitting astral brick walls, I quit. I packed up the Hekate shrine, put it all away and continued on with my core practices and almost tried to ignore Her.

Then a few months down the line, I had another dream. I'm standing in the centre of a three way crossroads and a black dog is pacing menacingly around me in circles, staring up into my eyes. I wake up and know it's Her again. The dreams She sends are always dark, but have never been terrifying. I have never woken up in a cold sweat as a result of these astral events, I tended to just wake up and shudder mildly to myself upon recalling the imagery and themes.

In May of this year, a short but potent rite was to take place for anyone in the world that was interested. The rite of Her Sacred Fires. A ritual to coincide with the publication of "Hekate - Her Sacred Fires" an anthology including the personal accounts and experiences of 50 devotees and magickal practitioners with this mysterious Goddess, edited by Sorita d'Este. The ritual was all over the Internet and the goal was for at least 1000 people around the world to take part. It was far more than a simple celebration of a new publication, it was a call to the Lady for a deeper understanding of Her mysteries.

I decided to take part, since it seemed clear that Hekate was wanting me to do something, I felt very much obliged. I took part in the rite with a Priestess of Hekate and two other magickal women. The rite was even recorded and put on youtube (!) as had been encouraged, perhaps in a sense of creating a communal feel to the whole experience. Over 3000 people in 6 continents took part! I decided that the rite would mark the outset of a relationship I intended on building with Hekate, to see what the hell it was She wanted from me, or what lessons She wanted to teach me.

The devotional work recommenced. An icon of the Lady was purchased for the shrine, and other items found themselves popping up in unexpected places over the ensuing weeks, which have all become a part of the devotional space. Offerings are made, and invocations recited. She ALWAYS makes her presence known with the barking of dogs in the distance, usually seconds after invocation (such a phenomenon was noted in the ancient world) I would see dogs at three way crossroads regularly in my daily life. Sometimes the dogs (usually black) would stare up into my eyes with a knowing expression, something I have since noted other devotees report.

A few months later I had the opportunity to meet some very magickal people whose work I have held great respect for, for several years. The location was dramatic and a large ritual was performed. A couple of days before the ritual, I saw a woman and her dog get hit down by a car in a three way crossroads. Neither of them seemed to be seriously injured, but they both jumped up out of the road and the dog ran off into the distance, leaving a very distressed and angry woman (with a foreign accent, which was quite possibly Greek!) literally screaming for her beloved dog. This all occurred just outside the supermarket I was heading into to purchase offerings for Hekate. The experience was shocking, and the pure symbolism played out in front of me was too blatant to be ignored. I knew it was a sign from Hekate, and it didn't feel good at all. A friend/acquaintance passed away a couple of days later due to a longstanding health issue.

Do I believe Hekate is responsible for what happened? No. Do I believe that I was being given advance notice that bad news was imminent? Perhaps.

August has definitely brought me into a much more immediate contact with some very interesting and dynamic magickal people, exciting opportunities have arisen and the seeds for some pretty big plans have been set.

So, it's all been a weird mixture of fear, excitement and mild grief and sadness.

I am STILL doing my email correspondence course on Astrology for Tarot Readers, and finding it a very valuable exercise. I plan to do more professional readings in the not so distant. I am also immersing myself in Qabalah and, (no surprises here) Isis has been raising her crown at me again. Of course, I could never forget Her, despite all the Hekate work. There is actually an Isis-Hekate (those Romans loved their two for the price of one Goddesses) but I prefer to keep them separate.

Tuesday 23 March 2010


Thought I would make a brief update.

The astral magick is going well. The weight loss magick is going well. My Equinox was very understated and simple, I poured out offerings on the earth. Sometimes Sabbat rituals as a solitary just don't seem all that useful or necessary, they will invariably involve lots of meditation and I can do that without a full ritual. Celebrating a FESTIVAL alone feels unnatural. I will acknowledge, yes, and "connect", but Sabbat rituals seem to be severely lacking when you are the only Witch in the circle.

I have had rather a lot of free time recently and have enjoyed doing my email correspondence course on Astrology for Tarot readers. It is doing what it says on the tin and providing me with another layer of symbolism within which to interpret the Tarot. I am becoming more interested in astrology as a whole really and looking to pursue this further.
























Tuesday 9 February 2010

Return of the blogger




Wow, so it's been a very long time since I last made a post in this blog! I have decided to start making more regular posts again, or at least try to, in an attempt to get me into the habit of writing more frequently again. I have still updated the odd post on my livejournal account, but that journal is reserved more for all the other stuff in my life. My livejournal doesn't have a theme, I just put whatever the hell I like in there, and use it as a way of finding out what is going on in the lives of those friends of mine who still use it.

Since my last post, I have achieved some of the goals I was working towards in my life and i'm currently in the process of achieving more goals, and this makes me happy.

Spiritually and magickally, things have been kind of interesting. My coven just sort of fell apart last year due to various reasons and I am now back to being a Witch Alone for the forseeable.

Whilst I do miss working in a coven (the structure of group work, the motivation it encourages, the drama of the rites etc) I must say that I am enjoying the freedom of solitary work right now, and feel like I can go at my own pace. It is also working wonders for my self-esteem.

I continue with regular meditation, and I ALWAYS learn something new from a meditation, it is an eternal teacher. I have been exploring my astral temple frequently.

I have been working with the goddess Hekate now for quite a long period. I perform devotions at least once a week and have a permanent shrine space for Her. I burn oils for her, usually patchouli or cypress. I offer her garlic cloves and honey. It struck me recently, that perhaps one of the reasons I have been so called to working with her a lot is because, in my magickal and spiritual life, I am in something of an inbetween state (again! though this time it is in terms of my magickal life, rather than my mundane life, I have a job now!) but the links have not been completely severed. My group may be salvaged at some point in the future, but then again, it might not!

I definitely wish to be in a group structure again, but just how long it will be until this happens, I do not know, and for now I am enjoying the ride! The lack of a physical teacher figure in my life is forcing me into following my own intuition more and doing things my way. I have not abandoned the ways of my tradition, I use the same ritual protocol and techniques I have been taught, because these are special to me, and effective. But of course, my tradition has always been experimental. Whilst the ritual structure and certain ways of doing things, are always used, precisely what flavours and fills my rites is now down to me and me only. If I wish to experience a deity or spirit or try a new form of magickal working, it is my choice as to how I go about doing it, and so far, it seems to be going well.

I have been working a lot with crystals and stones for a while now, this was prompted by my purchasing of David Rankine's "Crystals Healing and Folklore" I possess a pretty good selection of various crystals (most of which were purchased quite a few years ago when I first fell in love with the mineral kingdom and their magical potential) I am using crystals a lot in conjunction with meditation and dreamwork.

I have been exploring working with servitors. I have been engaging in more trance journeying, and I am learning more and more about how to communicate and interact with spirits (for want of a better word)

I am also undertaking an email correspondence course in astrology for tarot readers, following on from the natal chart I had done for myself by an astrologer friend I met a couple of years ago through the shop. The course is very laid back and I can do it in my own time.

In terms of reading, I must say that my most valuable literary purchase of late has been "The Encyclopedia of Spirits" by Judika Illes (awesome, amazing author) I love the book so much (along with all her others) that I told her so over facebook, and she replied straight back with a huge thank you and told me how much it means to her when she gets these lovely comments from readers of her books who share her passion for Gods, Saints, Spirits and spells!

I cannot recommend her work highly enough, the amount of research that must go into her books makes me feel dizzy with awe. Check out her website.

And finally, for now, seeing as I am in the mood for sharing online resources, I would like to draw attention to "The Unnamed Path" as an interesting series of podcasts for gay male occultists, check it out here.

Expect more posts soon!

Tuesday 5 May 2009

It has been too long since my last post. I visited my family in Spain for a week during Easter. My Spanish family come from a very beautiful and idyllic city called Toledo. It is situated in central Spain and is about an hour's drive from Madrid. Toledo is ancient and has a very rich history. During the middle ages it was the traditional centre for those who wanted to study Kabbalah and astrology and magic as many texts were translated there. It has been a traditional centre for Muslims, Jews and Christians and has a notable Arabic stamp on the place, which you can see in the architecture especially.

Easter is big in Spain and dramatic processions take place through all cities and towns every night up until Easter Sunday. In Toledo the processions usually began at midnight and would often continue on up until 3am!

I have been reading "The Mystery Religions" by S. Angus and have been reminded of just how much Christianity (especially Catholicism) drew from these religions. The processions certainly made use of many of the techniques enjoyed by those who participated in the old mystery faiths, those Catholics really know how to create drama! Dramatic music, enforced periods of silence, the ambience of the night, the flickering candlelight, the whispered prayers, elaborate and ornate icons and costumes all blend together into a well loved and time proven recipe for a heady religious experience. This is a little video I made by compiling various bits and pieces of footage, the result is a little creepy!



And now I am back home again and working towards the same goals. Beltane was pleasant and saw my first leap over a bonfire, as is traditional at this time of year. I am grateful for my friends and loved ones and even though I am still in this state of limbo in my life, I can feel the presence of something fresh just around the corner.

Friday 27 March 2009

A Wiccan theological mess from the inside of my head.

So it's time that I expand a little on some of those points I mentioned that came up in a discussion with friends during the Equinox. This post is about monotheism in Wicca and how Wicca can be regarded as monotheistic. I touch equally (or possibly more) on some other theological frameworks and see whether these can be applied to Wicca.

Wicca is monotheistic?

"In the name of Dryghtyn, the Ancient Providence,
Who was from the beginning and is for eternity,
Male and Female, the Original Source of all things;
all-knowing, all-pervading, all-powerful;
changeless, eternal.

"In the name of the Lady of the Moon,
and the Lord of Death and Resurrection.

"In the name of the Mighty Ones of the Four Quarters,
the Kings of the Elements.

"Blessed be this place, and this time,
and they who are now with us."


It is clear from a quick read through of this blessing prayer from the Gardnerian tradition (Original Wicca) that a monotheistic theology of oneness is being expressed. I first read this prayer a few years back in Patricia Crowther's autobiography (she is a famous Gardnerian High Priestess for those that aren't familiar) This prayer has been with Wicca since the beginning. Incidentally, the term "Dryghten" is an Anglo Saxon Christian term. I have been told that it means "Risen Christ". Whether Gardner was aware of this or not, he obviously liked the word and chose to include it in the liturgy of the rituals of the Craft.

In my tradition the Goddess and the God, Herself and Himself, are but two sides of the same coin, two halves of the whole. The whole is that ultimate source, it is the limitless.

I have heard and read definitions that Wicca is duotheistic, and even some that Wicca is polytheistic. I can see that the Craft is duotheistic (to a point!) in that it's theology is expressed in the reverence and recognition of two divine beings(I won't use the word "worship" even though I am personally comfortable with it, as this opens up a whole new argument that I am not going to go into here) These two divine beings are, as mentioned above, two halves of a whole.

So the next question is, where do some people get this idea from that Wicca is polytheistic? I am pretty sure that this term is used by some people as a result of what they think Wicca is, based on the popular mainstream image that Wicca has for so many people today. Fluffy/Mainstream or "Pop" Wicca to use a term common in my circles to refer to the phenomenon, is what happened when people started getting the idea that Wicca could still be Wicca without training and covens and initiations, without any real structure, continuity or tradition. Mountains of books have been written on "Wicca" by Pagans who have never been in a traditional Wiccan coven. Sometimes the authors themeselves have never even spoken to someone from a traditional Wiccan background. The result is a horrible mess. We have now reached a point where we have books on what the author thinks is Wicca, written by someone with no knowledge or training, based entirely on what the author has read in other books on Wicca, which themselves were also written by authors who haven't received any training or spoken to anyone from a traditional Wiccan background.

To sum up (before I turn this discussion into a rant) popular books on Wicca often give the idea that Wicca is a DIY religion. People can believe in what they want to believe and do whatever they want, as long as it is inside a circle into which the elements have been called then it is Wicca! It should by now be pretty clear what my opinion on this matter is, so i'm not going to go there! What a lot of "Pop Wiccans" may be surprised to know (well to be honest, they would be pretty much surprised by most of the facts of traditional Wicca) is that the idea of calling upon random deities from different cultures has never really been a part of the tradition in any major sense.

Most traditional covens will regard themselves as calling the same two deities in their ceremonies everytime. Whilst the opinion is that different deities from different cultures are but different aspects of the Goddess and God (this is expressed in the Charge of the Goddess, "Listen to the words of the Great Mother, she who of old was also called....") this practice of invoking Greek, Egyptian, Norse or whatever specific deities into the circle, was not originally a part of traditional Wicca. Whilst there are traditional Wiccan covens now that practise this, the view is usually expressed that the deities are but aspects of the Goddess and God. When a traditional Wiccan mentions "The Gods" in the context of their tradition, they are referring to these two divine beings.

Some particularly traditional Gardnerian (Hard Gards) and Alexandrian covens never invoke Gods of other pantheons, focusing purely on the Wiccan Gods, The Goddess and God, The Lord and Lady, if they use these terms. Their names are secret. If my coven ever invoked a specific deity from a pantheon, it would be strongly emphasised that this deity was a particular mask. To make things trickier, some of us traditionalists may work with other deities outside of Wicca, but usually this is regarded as something separate from The Craft. I feel the need to have a clear boundary between my Wiccan work and my Isian devotional work. My Wiccan theological framework still informs my work with other deities in that I still regard Isis or whomever I am working with, as being an aspect of The Goddess (or The God, if I am working with a God) who is one side of the ultimate source.

To return to the point about polytheism (finally!) I feel that the reason so many people think of Wicca as polytheistic comes from the popular books which give the impression that Wiccans are invoking deities from random pantheons all the time.

However, i'm not going to completely do away with this term! If one insists on the word "polytheism", Wicca could, I believe, get by with being classified as "soft polytheism" (as long as it's expressed in a duotheistic way, mind you!) Soft polytheism, as I understand the term, indicates a recognition of mutiple Gods as different manifestations of one source. Hard polytheism, is the belief that all the Gods really are totally separate entities with no underlying connection between them. They are not different masks or manifestations, they are individual beings. To make things more complicated (it ALWAYS get's more complicated) I think a soft polytheist still needs to wear a Hard polytheistic helmet when communing with the Gods! Having a conversation with a Godform can be tricky at the best of times without having that theologian in the back of your head saying "It's a mask! It's a mask!"

Phew! So as you can see, if you are still with me, we are all bonkers and you should just go home and have a nice cup of tea!

The truth is (big fat cliche alert) These are all just labels. I can understand Wicca being classed as monotheistic, duotheistic and, to an extent, polytheistic. Are you confused? I know I am. I suppose this is why we are a mystery tradition.